The Dad Pole

Well, the memorial was amazing. Strangely exciting to see so many good friends and family, but such a craptastic way to meet. It was perfect, just as he would've wanted, I think. No churchy music, but music that was the essence of Dad: Eric Clapton and Marvin Gaye.

Today it has been 17 days since his body left this earth. 18 since he said he loved me, but no more than a few seconds since the last time I felt his love in my heart. It has been a strange transition, I feel like I should be more sad, more depressed. Sometimes I think, am I grieving right? But then, there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

I like to write and to put my thoughts down, I suppose this blog can do that. I'm trying to remember every single memory of him so that my kids will know who their Grandpa was.

I felt like due to my age and where I fell in line in the order of siblings, I was my Dad's co-pilot. He would always call me that. I was always next to him through thick and thin, of which we had some really thick times and really thin times. One such memory that brought a smile to my face was the Dad pole.

The intersection at which this pole is actually located eludes me, but it was no more than a couple blocks from Clay Elementary. I was not of school age yet, so I must have been 4-5 yrs, but I would accompany my Dad as he would walk the older kids to school. This pole was a stop-sign where he and I would stop, and the rest of the kids would continue on their way.

On one such occasion, when we left the house it was no more than a cloudy day, but on our way back from the Dad pole, it had begun to rain. Seeing as though we were not prepared for this shower, we huddled under the porch of a nearby home. There we waited out the shower and continued home.

It seems as though today Dad has stopped at the Dad pole and let the rest of us walk on as he remained.