The Dad Pole

Well, the memorial was amazing. Strangely exciting to see so many good friends and family, but such a craptastic way to meet. It was perfect, just as he would've wanted, I think. No churchy music, but music that was the essence of Dad: Eric Clapton and Marvin Gaye.

Today it has been 17 days since his body left this earth. 18 since he said he loved me, but no more than a few seconds since the last time I felt his love in my heart. It has been a strange transition, I feel like I should be more sad, more depressed. Sometimes I think, am I grieving right? But then, there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

I like to write and to put my thoughts down, I suppose this blog can do that. I'm trying to remember every single memory of him so that my kids will know who their Grandpa was.

I felt like due to my age and where I fell in line in the order of siblings, I was my Dad's co-pilot. He would always call me that. I was always next to him through thick and thin, of which we had some really thick times and really thin times. One such memory that brought a smile to my face was the Dad pole.

The intersection at which this pole is actually located eludes me, but it was no more than a couple blocks from Clay Elementary. I was not of school age yet, so I must have been 4-5 yrs, but I would accompany my Dad as he would walk the older kids to school. This pole was a stop-sign where he and I would stop, and the rest of the kids would continue on their way.

On one such occasion, when we left the house it was no more than a cloudy day, but on our way back from the Dad pole, it had begun to rain. Seeing as though we were not prepared for this shower, we huddled under the porch of a nearby home. There we waited out the shower and continued home.

It seems as though today Dad has stopped at the Dad pole and let the rest of us walk on as he remained.

An amazing man...

James Grant Williams Jr. passed away Saturday morning after a long struggle with Diabetes. He is survived by his seven children--Terry, Alicia, Chris, Tres, Stacy, Rachel, Peter--and six grandchildren--Kai, Leon, Ava, Ben, Andre and Grant.

Jim was born in Plainfield, NJ, on February 4, 1950. He was the eldest of three sons and very much reveled in that fact. His hare-brained schemes, dirty tricks, and down-right stupid stunts are now precious memories that his brothers will forever cherish. As a young boy James and his family traveled all over the world, living in places such as Israel and Jamaica. He would recall these places with such fondness—eating warm pita with a cold coke in a bottle; or discovering a pristine beach untouched by human feet.

After his first enlisted tour of duty in Vietnam, Jim graduated from the University of Illinois at Champagne-Urbana in 1972 with a degree in Civil Engineering. Two more tours of duty in Vietnam found him a Bronze-star decorated Naval Officer stationed in the Philippines. There he met his wife and started his family. Five children and five years later, Jim retired from the Navy, planted his roots in San Diego, and had two more children.

He dedicated his life to his role as a father, giving the same grammar and math lessons seven times. He sat through nine graduations and who-knows-how-many school assemblies. He was a steady fixture at Clay Elementary, Horace Mann Middle and Crawford High. With an incredible total of 22 years with those schools, there Jim made many lifelong friends.

Everyone knew Jim as gregarious, kind, humble, brilliant, and absolutely hysterical. His words of wisdom were a guiding light--and the joke that would invariably followed--kept us all from going mad. Jim always made it a point to make everyone he encountered feel like the most important person in the world.

He was our father. He was our friend. He will be missed. A memorial service will be held at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Mission Valley on Saturday, February 7th, 2009 at 11am: 4195 Camino del Rio South, San Diego. His remains will be interned at Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery at a later date.

If you would like to be notified when the internment will occur, please join as a follower of this blog. God bless.

Our family sends out our deepest gratitude for all condolences. In lieu of flowers, as our father would have requested, buy yourself something nice or take a great vacation and enjoy time with your family.